Odessa

Flew in to Odessa International Airport. About two hours flight from Tivat, Montenegro. Happy I made it out of Montenegro alive. Beautiful country, wonderful people, but littered with different mafias on every street corner.

Exchanged 95 Euros for Ukrainian dollars. Amounted to something around 2,000 and some odd hundred Ukrainian...not sure what they’re called. Heart fluttered a bit, only to settle back to normal when noticing a bagel sandwich with egg for 127 Ukrainians.

Saw a sign for a taxi to the center for 300 Ukrainians. Next to it 11 Euro. Figured some quick math in my head to try and understand exchange rate. 300 Ukrainians = 11 Euro.

I’ve heard it said before that Ukraine is home to the most beautiful woman in the world. This is reinforced by the strikingly handsome features of the female security agents at the airport. Makes me growl beneath my mask. Some thing about Ukrainian woman in uniform...perhaps there Soviet era hip pistols...or the worn leather holsters...reminds me of Star Wars...

I notice an ad for a vinyl bar and ask the taxi driver to take me there. He says 1,000. I say “I’ll walk.”

I walk. Find a gas station and ask for a map. No map, he points me in the direction of bus 168 to the center. Cant miss em, yellow busses, they might miss you though, if you don’t flag them down.

Notice the beautiful supped up 80’s generation soviet and Japanese cars, fascinating.

“This could be the coolest country in the entire world”, I think to myself as I head towards the crowded bus.

I notice a grandmother with an assault rifle inside her plastic shopping bag getting off the bus and I can’t help but stare. I must have been wearing a strange expression on my face, because a father of a family passing by addressed me. I said “beach”. He said “Arcadia” and pointed across the intersection.

He had a funny name for the busses and warned that it would take around 40 minutes because the busses don’t go anywhere direct.

I am grateful, but don’t express my thanks as I’ve been told “thank you’s” are reserved for occasions such as saving ones life.

I cross the street in the general direction of where he was pointing and notice two bus stops, one on either side of the road. I jump on the wrong bus, begin to realize Ukrainian is less similar to Serbian than I had imagined and had I know Ukrainian, it wouldn’t matter much here because most people speak Russian.

Twenty minutes of being packed in like sardines on a hot, sweaty, Soviet era bus...kind woman points out to me that I am heading in the wrong direction. Get off bus. Get on other bus. Try to calculate costs of ticket, give up and hand 200 Ukrainians to driver. Turns out to be six Ukrainians to Arcadia.

Welcome to Leviv

Nearly 14 hours later on the bus from Odessa, I have arrived in Leviv. First leg of the bus ride was interesting. Left the station at nearly 12 night after a lovely English for Russian language lesson with my beautiful host Olga. No hard feelings, but the lady sitting next to me was large. I used to think the airlines were crazy to charge overweight individuals for two seats, but now I understand why. 7 hours on a night bus while sitting on half a seat is not what I call luxurious. As I watched everyone else on the bus sleep comfortably, I listened to Fleet Fox on repeat, making the best of my half seat ride to the capital. Sun rises at half past five, passengers begin to stir. I get my first glimpse of the Ukrainian country side. STUNNING, in a word. Rich, thick forests and pristine lakes line the highway as the burning orange sun rises. I reach Lviv, first impression is "awesome". I reach the city center, second impression...even awesomer.

Kyiv